Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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