I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Do vagina's smell?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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