Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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