pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
