Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
