I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
