she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
