it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
