I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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