That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
