i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
