Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
