Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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