Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
