"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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