You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
