i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
