It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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