Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
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