Just cropdusted the office
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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