You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
