I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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