Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
