so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
