oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
