No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
My vagina just recognized that song.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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