im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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