& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
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Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
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Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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