So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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