We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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