Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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