So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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