a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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