If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
