I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
