Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
