i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
