I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
