Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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