Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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