So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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