My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
