The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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