Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
