The maid of honor just puked.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
