i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
