If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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