Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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