We're like a lot better than the average bears
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
