dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
