Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
