I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
