Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
