Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
