i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
