i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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