party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Success! We fucked roommates!
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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