umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
