So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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